Becoming a Lighthouse: Men & Domestic Violence Prevention

Men are the aggressors in 90% of intimate partner violence cases. Many cases go unreported, and many behaviors that are in fact abusive are not considered when we discuss domestic violence, like emotional abuse. Research tells us that abuse tends to run in families, or get passed down over generations. But we know it doesn't always, and it doesn't have to.

What can we do to prevent men from becoming perpetrators of domestic violence? And what, in particular, can men do? We knew there are certain people in the lives of men and boys, such as coaches, who can be positive influencers in helping them develop healthy and respectful relationships with women.

In my interview for this episode, I talk with one man about his unexpected journey into activism trying to involve men in the fight against intimate partner violence. We discuss the protective factors that can prevent a boy or man from becoming an abuser, as well as things that parents can do to help boys become young men who are able to engage in healthy and respectful relationships.

Politics, Aggression, & Women's Malaise

The level of rancor and divisiveness in our country right now is hard to miss or deny. In the midst of this ugly political discourse, the status of women has been under attack with some particularly misogynistic elements being given a platform, and some might say tacit approval in the lack of outrage or pushback.

This general feeling of a diminishment of women weighs heavily on many, often not even aware that it is there. I speak with my guest, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, who talks about how the generally aggressive public discourse about women has impacted those who have experienced trauma in the past and find themselves triggered by this new and negative norm. We discuss signs to watch for in yourself, and in those you care for to be sure you are taking care of yourself and each other.

Have We Solved Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence, or intimate partner violence, has been decreasing over the last decade. Some of this success is attributed to the Violence Against Women Act, which was drafted by then Sen. Joe Biden, and signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1994. The Act established the Office of Violence on Women within the Department of Justice. At long last there was a central federal authority with resources and a central mission to stop this violent but silent epidemic.

So we have the Violence Against Women Act, and some success in bending the curve of violence. However that doesn’t mean that the issue is gone and we can move on. Far from it. In my interview with the Washington, DC office Director of Futures Without Violence, Kiersten Stewart, we discuss that we have seen progress in some groups, but the good news is mixed. Young people still experience high rates of violence which often goes unreported, or when it is reported, is not taken as seriously as it perhaps should be. The importance of involving men and boys in the prevention of interpersonal violence is discussed. We also discuss the warning signs for a violent or abusive relationship, and how to approach someone you suspect is in a dangerous relationship.

In this episode, we highlight the work of Lady Gaga in drawing attention to the issue of rape and violence on college campuses.